Twenty years of an uneventful existence. I went to school, I studied, I grew up, I bickered, I moved on, I giggled, I cried. I have loving parents. I have a gem of a brother, which is another way of saying that he’s not fretful and yet manages to be bothersome. I have uncles who come up with bland jokes, a traditional grandma who loves temples and tons of thick coconut oil on my hair. Friends, who can be too crazy to be called human. I never wash my dishes; I don’t see a point to making up my bed. I have faithfully orbited the sun for many years just like all the rest of you. I’m completely normal. Life could never have been more uneventful, regular and more defined. I, in fact, couldn’t point to one thing that I’ve done in these twenty years that somebody else on the planet hasn’t already envisioned, thought about, or achieved.

And yet, if you’d chose to call my life commonplace and blasé, you couldn’t be more wrong. It’s interesting, this life of mine. Every experience of that belongs to me either finds excessive flattery, admirable complaints, a happy distortion or a careful polishing for affectionate preservation. As memories, as thoughts, or sometimes, as words. It is maybe because I want them to endure. Much after their times, much after their end, much after me. Because their worth grows with me, with every single day….

I’ve been blessed to be here. And yet, I have not found causes to question as to why I’m deserving of a doting mother, a perfect father, so much love and care. I have never asked why is it that my every whim and fancy should be satisfied, the tantrums attended to, the ignorance that I carelessly throw their way allowed for. It’s so easy to not ask weird questions. Hell, I’m no philosopher. I don’t talk dense with my family. But 20, I guess, knocked a little substance into a very fortunate pea brain.

You know when they launch rockets, we stand and stare? But they say, and I have found, that if a small equation goes awry, the most ambitious missions can fail. And it would be impossible then, to propel yourself into a brilliant future. Well, I had a clever mathematician managing for me till today. Somewhere when I grew up, however, he decided to take a little break for awhile, just to show a heedless heart never to take the gift of life for granted. And more importantly, to tell the people who constitute all that life in you that you believe in them. It’s everything that I have ever come to love. That I shall forever remember—to hold them close.

So, now, I begin a new writing project. For you, Papa. Because I believe in your courage. I believe in living in a perfect future together. For I believe that you’ll be proud of this careless, irresolute daughter of yours someday. For I believe that someday farfaraway, I could be making these words a book. For those times shall come, and I shan’t stop dreaming. It’s time to write our story, step by step, until it becomes the biggest book ever written. Because it’ll be a story worth telling, allright.

I hope that at the end of the day, I could do you proud. Because this belongs to us. And I promised my mathematician that I’d make those equations work. I think you know your physics right. For one thing, you forced me to pass my hardest physics course with an irritating fortitude.

Because cancers can go away and you'll heal.

Because you gave me the best days of my life and always will.

Because our story should endure......

Because I love you, Papa.

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18 Responses to Because

  1. aravind says:

    very gud and a inspirational start to something so pure.....ALL D BEST

    we will be with u :-)

  2. Thanks for all the care and support, marty.
    I know you'll be there, bitch.
    You've always been there, even on those days when I've been stupid enough to call you up and cry for lame reasons such as me leaving for the states.
    I guess that's what best friends are for. As usual, I don't know what to say. Just my very same "Thanks for being there, ara."
    Repeated, a million times more in highly girly octaves though. Thank you so much!!
    (and NO, your NOT allowed to say CASCARNOOO for the thanks! :-D )

  3. nikki says:

    totally loved it! :)

  4. Nikita says:

    Touching. I am moved. May the forces be with you Lakshmi. :)

  5. it was beautiful!
    hoping everything works out perfectly for u pk.. :)
    we all got ur back! :)
    u know that!

  6. Anonymous says:

    I have not come across any story that is more touching than this :)
    I am looking forward to the full version :)

  7. VoID says:

    lage raho lakshmibhai...:)...

  8. Anonymous says:

    Wow inspiring. All the best Lakshmi.

  9. B.R. says:

    OH GOD!!! Lovely piece indeed. Brought joy and tears. Keep on writing young one and bring those inert emotions to life.

  10. nikki: Thanks a lot for liking this post! Means much to me!
    Nikita: Hey, thanks a ton girl. :) I hope so too, i hope so too!
    KP: :) I know that you're among the many who's always got my back! :) Mighty thanks, kachaguli pencil! As always, indedbted. Such a genteman! :)
    DC: :-) Glad you find it so! :) The entire version will be written as chapters, spanning many, many, many posts. Very nice of you. Keep visiting!!! :)
    Bharath: :) Will keep going thanks, bharath. As always, with encouragement from lovely people like you.
    Kiran: Thanks much kiran. :) For the comment, and for finding this inspiring.
    Ramprasad sir: Overwhelmed and humbled!!! Thank you. will try my best to! :) Keep visiting.

  11. ZARDY says:

    My prayers are with you. Keep writing, Lux. One day, your father shall have been healed completely. And then reading this blog shall bring a smile to him. A big smile. We're all praying, Lux. We're all with you.

  12. Prithvi says:

    Sweetheart...he's gonna be fine. There are prayers from all over going on for him and you guys too. So hang in there and stay strong for both mom and dad. They need you now

  13. Zardy: keep praying! i need your prayers, fellow poet! I know he will be! I live by that faith, and its the light in my day! :) I hope it does. thanks for being there!
    Prithvi akka: :) thank u so much for all the assurance and all the love! and yes, I'll try to. You got stories to tell me too. :) someday, over some chai and snacks...:) much to learn from u!

  14. Good one, be strong and keep up the good work. :)

  15. Thank you, nikhil.
    keep him in your prayers.

  16. adi says:

    an awesome write up,very true and touching..I Just pray to god to bestowe him with all the Courage,Strength and Spirit to overcome all this and to u, just keep having that li'l faith..It ll surely evict the darkness just , Just, by that li'l spark of light & nothing can stop it !! I wish you all the best !


  17. Seetha says:


    Just happened to hit upon your blog and truly touched with your stories!

    Papa is precious, and am sure he will be all fine with a doting daughter like you next to him to take care of him.

    Be strong girl, everything will be fine! you will surely be able to make him feel Proud not just by doing all those what you have listed in your stories but also 'cos of the way you have taken care of him / supported your family when they most needed it!

    Leaving this message with mixed emotions, i surely want to be updated about your dad's health and definetly he is in my prayers!

    All the very best to you and your family, keep smiling.

    ~ Seetha

  18. Disha says:

    Dear Lakshmi,
    Your write up moves our minds, to the other direction. Where, if we would have stood in your place. May God answer all you're prayers. I'm sure he will. I read all of it and i donno what to say. Heart-rendering, truly.
    You're the best,of courage,fearlessness and strength. Your love for ur Papa will protect him!Love you lakshmi!


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