It's been over an year now since we went through all that and survived it. I was just this silent spectator back then. And I'm just this silent spectator right now. But it's all different, you know. I was a different kind of spectator then: morbid, unsure. But now, i know more than ever how much I love you and how grateful I am to have you here. I never say anything, i hardly talk to you. But I want you knowing it. I love you, papa.

that was the whole purpose of the blog. But i'm just making it clear enough.

But i love you, papa. I wanted to just make it clear enough. I love you.

I want you to know, papa. I want you to know that I'm proud of you. I don't know why i'm not making it clear enough. I saw you going from bald to full of curly hair, you went from hesitant to full of life, you look handsomer than ever. I love how you act a child sometimes. I love your eyes. I love your devotion. I love when Arjun threatens you about something and you start smiling. I love how you cringe at Brown Rice amma serves. I love how you call me up everyday even if i don't, asking if I ate. I love how you make sure I study. I love how you're looking after me.

And I love how we're surviving it, with every day.

there is such beauty to your spirit, papa. And i just wanted to say, when i don't show it explicitly enough, i want you to come back to this post and realize how much I love you. You're teaching me how to live and grow up, even if you think you aren't.

We're all things bright and beautiful.